Can I be honest...I'm SO glad Mother's Day is over. I woke up with "momzilla" expectations and a self centered attitude that is not normally in my character. Sure I have my mommy moments of being overwhelmed and feeling sorry for myself, but I'm not the type to begrudge motherhood by any means. Yet yesterday I struggled with the "what about me" mentality.
At church that morning, my pastor (who always tells it like it is and I so appreciate that!) said "Get over yourself! It's not about YOU, it's about HIM!". I'm pretty sure a big arrow lit up over my head and pointed down at me lol, because that was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. My spirit lifted and I felt like I was back to a well aligned reality. Yet shortly after church, the Devil was at it again. Dropping those thoughts into my head of "Why am I cooking dinner on Mother's Day? Why am I doing dishes? I-I-I...Me-Me-Me". Normally I do these things without a second thought. No I don't always enjoy them but I do them because I love my family. Why should that be any different on a day I should be rejoicing at the fact that God made me a mother at all.
But that's the way the enemy works...he knows if he can just get our eyes off of Jesus and onto ourselves, we've handed him our peace and joy on a silver platter. And just because I got the words I needed to hear at church, it does not mean he will run and hide. God gave me that phrase to combat the devil that day because He knew what was in store for me. I'm sorry to say I could have done much better with it. I did (gladly) do something special for my wonderful mom and told my kids several times how thankful I am that I get to be their mommy, but internally I was still struggling. I can't believe that I am surrounded by all of these incredible blessings and yet there I was having a pity party over a sink full of dishes...seriously?!
But joy comes in the morning (we sang a song about that in church too...coincidence? I think not). That's the beauty of this life of serving the Lord. Not only do we get the guidance and help we need...even when we fail, the Lord is there with forgiveness and strength for a new day. I'm disappointed that I allowed that battle to go on for so long yesterday. I regret not using the tools God gave me in church that morning to more efficiently stop the negative thoughts and get my eyes back on Him. But I have learned from it and am determined to remember this lesson so when the Devil tries this on me again, I will squash him immediately with the truth of God's word. This best sums it up:
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face...
and the things of Earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace."
